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the awkward**words are always getting tangled up on my tongue
like somewhere on the way to my mouth from my lungs
riding on a highway, a skyway of oxygen
skatin’ over bones and their insides of collagen
at motorcycle speed, drive up the sides of my throat
only to come out o’ here on a completely wrong note
like, everything i try to say
comes out in the wrong way
like russian roulette ballet
i mess it all up~
i try to tell you how i feel on what’s almost a daily basis
but over here, my voice is breakin’ vases,
your faces, i can tell that i’ve said the wrong thing
in this game i’m too early or too late with my swing
you and no one elsecan't get this state out
of my mind
it's just a blurry
of things that come
you bury it
waiting for days
to change all
but when i get
i'll teach you
how you do
you won't get my
but you still
scream through the door
that's how it really
you bury yourself
to get some
and there's none
only more troubles
ahead of time
ReflectionsThings had never meant to be,
when I closed my eyes to a dream.
Underwater I face the moon,
feeling its caress in this barren abyss.
Figments of hopes and prayers
flitting and fleeting around me,
a school of fish swimming
in glistening silver fragments.
In a future that once was
and a past that could never be,
I felt the ebb and flow
of a faint midday sun with you.
But when my eyes awaken,
it becomes too much to bear.
A drab reality falls in place,
crushing these remnants of possibility.
Almost nothing left...The days are days,
the nights are nights,
time runs fast,
all the time.
The days they're long,
and the nights are short,
the days of wrong,
and the nights of bliss.
My dreams and fantasies are not enough,
yes in it i kissed you, so what?
But in the day everything falls apart,
drifting further, further past start.
Please, i need someone to hold me,
someone hold me tight,
but theres no-one out there,
theres no one left.
My love is almost souly run out,
i give up on the whole thing,
what's the point of love?
when in the end it stings.
The night time short,
the day times long,
in the day i'm with you,
but i've never felt so alone.
MockeryMaybe I've been broken,
Maybe I've given a little too much,
Or perhaps not enough.
I loved you with all I was,
I may not have understood at the time,
Just what I was doing,
But I do know now,
A long time has gone by,
Don't know what to do.
Don't keep me out forever,
It's gettin' kinda lonely,
Without you here by my side,
Do you remember the whispers we shared,
Late into the night,
Curled into one another.
Lines have been drawn,
We're enemies in love,
We can't agree to disagree,
As we toe the line,
What we once had,
Can we have it again...?
Have either of us grown up enough,
To face the truth of who were are?
Or are we gonna dance around a
she stared at the straps that she stared at the straps that held the cups that contained her breasts
and the stained shoelaces that like her are strung out on the floor;
just as frayed and crusted as the panties hanging off the edge of bed
I wonder what her mother thinks; after she says her prayers at night
When she lays down in that little suburban house crying at her baby book.
Does she know or imagine her daughter is doing something different.
You can't buy love, but you sure can sell it and you can sell a smile and a nod.
The bags that run ever so deep between arteries and organs destroying the synapses to your-
Regulatory functions going; pure animalist living quart
HeartI am not the monster
that goes bump
in the night.
I am not the monster
that is savage and
destroys the flesh.
I am the monster
burdened with a heart
to rip myself part by part.
I am the monster
I am the monster
with a tongue
knotted in the throat,
I am the monster
with faulty restraint,
a smile with shadows.
I am not the monster
you claim I am,
ready to destroy you.
You are not
what my existence encompasses,
not my center.
My core is my heart
I am the monster,
the man-made disaster
toxic to itself --
and You are
an unfortunate casualty,
JealousyI am happy she is gone
Is that wrong, I don’t know
I’m not sure I still want you
But you are mine alone
I'm notI'm not innocent, but instead fragmented,
Parts of a soul divided.
One part hopeful, drowned out by the rest,
And gloom fogging the mix.
I'm not calm. I'm voices screaming,
Shouting so loud that they all cancel each other's points.
I'm drawn, and hindered, and straining,
But mostly faded out.
I am two parts of a story told, cut short far before the conclusion.
I am the whisper of a thought begun
the foxyou came out of nowhere
a bit lost
a bit scared
but there was something
a connection between
two souls adrift
who saw us
and see now what
may not understand
that life came
and took us by our hands
and with all this caffeine
in my bloodstream
we talked all night long
i hope you let me
enter your universe
as my universe is open
Taking Back My LifeDear Mr. Inner Demon, you've no business here,
I suggest you leave forever, let me make this clear,
I've outgrown your influence, I do not feel fear,
No longer do I flinch or back away when you draw near,
I press against you, face to face, reflect your devil's sneer,
You may storm and scream, but my voice is all I hear,
There's a cliff behind you and the drop is quite severe,
If you were to topple down, I'd not shed a tear,
Hear my name,
It's MY domain,
It's MY own game,
I'm NOT insane,
I'm NOT that lame,
I'm NOT the same,
I'll now explain:
You've lost your claim to FAME,
You whispered, pointed,
I couldn't see you'd lie to me,
So self-aware I didn't care,
I wasn't there, you took control,
Let me burn and let it roll,
When I awoke you grinned and spoke,
Hearts that broke,
Souls could choke upon these words,
How absurd, I let you herd me,
Move me, shake me,
Move out, make me,
Never gonna take me,
Never gonna break me,
Death, more death and tragedy,
The HanAmber Dictionary of AwesomeMisplel: To purposely spell a word, in which it was not intended.
Gadsp: A deep, often choking, gasp.
Clong: To cling to somebody and jump up & down, rapidly. Oftentimes, accompanied by giggling.
Tyupi/Tupos: Also known as "typo".
Porn rinds: Also known as "pork skins".
Clap8: To clap rapidly & loudly, eight times.
Fuckcake/Cupadack: Another word for "cupcake"
Carpwet: A wet, usually very soaked, carpet.
Gouda: A heavenly figure, most often referred to, as "God".
Winder: A glass pane found in buildings, houses and cars. Most often called "windows".
Apposeta: Slang, for "supposed to".
Rtihy: Another word, for "right".
Ur eyes shine like the forth oUr eyes shine like the forth of the July the color splashs wanting to leave white out of the picture ur eyes are beautiful there not pitiful ur eyes are all u need for being beauitiful
Starved For Wheat Starved For Wheat
(A poem for everyone with gluten intolerance)
I must look awful strange, sipping tea and staring at all the cakes and cookies piled high in
Convenience stores and coffee shops.
It's plain to see I'm starved for wheat,
And that I'm silently cursing my tantalizing lot in life.
Because, it's not fair ... that I have to sit and starve on salad,
While watching family and friends feast and feed to their hearts' content,
And amuse myself by dreaming of de
I look back in timeI stare out the stain glass window in the back of the room. It had a candle burning at the bottom of it. Somehow, it made me think back to when we first met all those years ago. I hadn't thought about it in forever, but I knew being here would make me.
"And this is my little sister." My brother said pointing to me. I waved quickly, like any other eight-year-old would. You were ten and paid no attention to me. You were cute, and so of course I immediately liked you.
I followed when you and my brother went down into the basement to play video games. I didn't get a chance to play often, but I still hoped I would get a turn. Finally, after
First KissI remember when I first saw you
Sitting alone in a sour mood
I got some courage to sit down by you
I guess I wanted something new
For awhile we just and talked
Then you suggested we go on a walk
I said it would be fine
The obvious line
It was a lot of fun
And I felt like I finally won
It was strange, something wacky
But whatever it was it was wacky
I looked at the time
I was half past nine
I said that I had to go
Your amazing smile then went low
I started to walk towards home
While remembering how your face shown
Then you grabbed my wrist
And I got my first kiss
RecognitionIn my life,
There is one person,
Who I want to recognize me,
That person is,
My Older brother.
If he only looked at me now and then,
I could die with a smile.
Why don't you see how good I am?
It is like,
If you only see I want the best for you.
You never encourage me at all,
I want you to recognize me,
Every now and again,
I might not be perfect,
I might need help every now and then,
But I still try my best,
To be recognized by you.
I hope one day,
You might say a simple, 'Congradulations,'
When I do something great,
But you never do,
No matter how hard I try.
Why don't you see
BraveryThere once was a time,
Where a lot of people died.
This war was the great one,
Where no one really won
Everyone lost a lot,
Because everyone fought.
None declared reign,
They were in too much pain.
The fighting just ceased,
When the leaders declared peace.
It was a never ending storm.
I was one of the few who survived,
But I barely came back alive.
If it wasn't for him,
I'd have lost my every limb.
Now I owe him my life,
But he was struck down with the enemy's knife.
I was surprised I was saved,
I wasn't worth it, I wasn't brave
How I wish it was reversed.
My life feels like a curse.
Because I was saved
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More